Poetree, or 'shut up, you pretentious bitch'

I would dearly love to write poetry
But I can't, for I have not a brain
I can sing, I can cook and can argue
But I try to compose rhyme in vain
I wish I possessed such a talent
To allow me to pour out my soul
But alas, I can find no such whimsy
For my heart is as vital as coal
Oh I wish I could write lovely poetry
My ev'ry thought captured with it
But unfortunately I am fated
To write this unbearable shit