13) I can't see a puppy without devolving into some sort of squealing melty idiot-woman. Puppies actually make my heart hurt. I am supposed to be educated and at least vaguely mature. Which is clearly total shite.
14) I secretly sort-of don't hate pork scratchings. Which I call 'itchy pigs' in order to try and put myself off. I actually refuse to allow myself to openly like them.
15) I sometimes buy magazines called things like 'Murder Monthly' to read on the machines at the gym to discourage awkward treadmill conversationalists.
16) I only like salad if bacon is involved.
17) I own a couple of pairs of shoes that I will NEVER be able to walk in successfully, but I keep them at eye-level for when I'm on my sofa because they are pretty.
18) Sometimes young children are openly delighted by my hair, and ask their parents if they can have their hair bright colours too. The parents' looks of utter horror are highly amusing to me, and can literally make my day.
19) I think it is absolutely fine to wear my swimsuit in my flat for no reason. I waited ages on a waiting list for the bastard thing, and I will not allow a lack of outdoor opportunity prevent me from wearing it!!! (PS - it is completely fabulous)
20) It is my firm belief that gin is an acceptable form of dessert.
21) I have several t-shirts with variations on 'Your Mum' jokes on them.
22) I have actually spent this long thinking of things about myself to write here. Narcissism, meet thy most devout champion!
Only 22 reasons? "Come, let us count the ways..."
ReplyDeleteI would bet a LOT of money that 'Anonymous' = Les
ReplyDeleteThe phantom Scotsman! He appears like a wraith in the night, leaves his mark, and is gone.
ReplyDeleteJust like a cat in a sandpit.